Community Rainbow Waves

On my way, hoping to get there soon…

I guess I always knew way back when I was a kid, but I had no idea what it was and why I felt that way. I just wasn’t what was deemed “normal”. I started acknowledging it for myself as I was going through adolescence and all throughout college and then sort of embraced it after graduation. But to be honest, I still don’t feel safe or free – as I wish I could be – to declare my truth. To some I am able to tell them, while to most I keep quiet… either way, I am never without fear of being rejected or seen differently, like I become a different person from the one they’ve come to know as soon as I confirm what they probably already thought. I still fear that I will never be taken seriously professionally or deserving of the same respect as a person just because of who I am. I am still afraid but I am also hopeful that one day, I’d get there – where I am free to just be me and no longer afraid.

Trust your heart if the seas catch fire (she/her)

I never knew I was gay when I was growing up. I had a conservative family who never talked about love. I was extremely in denial and extremely obsessed with boys. But, I met a girl when I was 15, at school. And we became fast friends – we were exceptionally close. I thought all friendships were meant to feel like that – warm, safe… slightly obsessive. And then one day she wanted to kiss me, and I was so confused because I didn’t like GIRLS??? And it took me a long time to come around, but she became my first girlfriend and it was the biggest scariest secret I had to keep. We went to an all girls school and she was incredibly affectionate so it wasn’t long before people started talking about us behind our backs and suspecting. I got tonnes of anonymous messages online calling me slurs and asking if we were dating. Keep in mind it was 2012, things were very different than they could be now. So finally after months of rumours about us being “dirty lesbians” and snide comments in class I decided it was time for me to just say it, because I was tired of awful made up stories about me floating everywhere. So I made a post on Facebook telling everyone to stop – stop calling me a lesbian, stop making things up. And I told them that I was bisexual. I received over 300 likes on that post. And somehow, magically, all the hate whispered behind our backs slowed right down. Because nobody had anything to talk about anymore. Because I confirmed the truth, we weren’t hiding anymore. That relationship lasted 18 months and I’ve had many long term relationships with women since. My label has changed over time and I now feel that Queer most describes my sexuality but I also identify with pansexual and bisexual. But for me, my sexuality doesn’t feel like it is just one thing. I feel fluid, like I have the capacity to love anybody. My story has many, many more layers as do all of ours. This is just one short version of my story, and how I became a part of one of the most wonderful communities on earth.

Tara

Well to start this I guess no one knows who I am but hi I’m Tara

And I guess this is my coming out story uwu!!

I remember the first time I ever learnt about the lgbtq Community was from a girl I met in year 7, she said she was bi leaning that she liked men and women and I remember thinking to my self like are you even aloud to like your own gender, from there on it’s always had me thinking about and I started to see the word in a different light, after a while I started to moved to liking girls and seeing how pretty they were, she I cam out bi still being unsure on what gender I liked, I had started dating a boy but it only lasted for 2 weeks because I just didn’t feel any connection to him, we felt more like best friends then a relationship and we kept it at that growing a even stronger friendship, half way through year 7 I had met a girl named Charlotte and she had changed my work for the best/worst I don’t remember much but we ended up dating for a year but I remember her telling me after our one year that she hadn’t been happy for months and only stayed in the relationship to keep me happy, I felt hurt because I had actually grown to like her but looking back at it now it was a toxic place in my life,

When I told my mom in 2017 I might be bi she was kind of shooked and said it’s probably just a phase and I’ll grow out of it and boy is she wrong because it’s 2020 and I’m a lesbian, anyways

I remember back in 2017 watching pitch perfect 3 for the first time not watching the first two and I shipped beca and Chloe for such a long time and that’s what kind of helps me to know what I wanted, even though they never got cannoned, after 2017 I hit a hard point of my life my dad left our family and basically cut all contacts with me and took my baby piper away who was my boxer, I had loved that dog with all my heart, but I was also glad my dad was gone because he was never there for me growing up and was always just toxic and rude, even now days he does not bother to she me any love and yet shows it to my brother and it does hurt me at Times because I’ll never get that have to father daughter experience that others get to have but this is my life, at this time in my life o had also gained weight and felt even more depressed about my self, as everyone around me was skinny and pretty where as I was the 5,4 girl with the extra weight just trying to fit in but never could, it wasn’t really until I left my old school and moved that I had found my passion for film and photography, one day hoping to be a movie producer and Director, and I had made much better friends who where all in so way gay, fast forward to 2020 being where I am I’m still in locked down but I had discovered Wynonna Earp, at first I didn’t want t watch it because I heard a lesbian died and I didn’t want to cry over it but then i watched it, and I just have to say I am in love with the show the cast and crew and the fandom, they have to be some of the nicest people I met and I’m now big fans of Kat and dom I fell my cheeks hurting from smiling, and because of their characters Waverley earp and Nicole haught I have truly discovered who I am and “I am a lesbian”, when I went to tell my mum again I was I bit nervous since what happened back in 2017 but I wrote it on paper and gave it to her, to my luck she supports me and says just because you like. Girls doesn’t change anything and it made me feel really great to know I will always have one parent who loves and supports me for who I am

And I’m now starting to get my life on track and have managed to lose weight and I feel a bit better about my self

To anyone reading I wanna say sorry this 12:30 am and I kind of wrote this on the spot

Tinne

I am a cisgendered Lesbian who uses she/her, and who identifies by simply my name.

I knew I was a Lesbian when I was 10 years old. I had a friend who was an actor and singer and I would often help her with work. One day we decided to do some improvisation, which she loved but did not get to do often. She set the scene and we both get into character and then she leads the scene to where I would kiss her. I stopped myself unsure of what to do. I really wanted to kiss her, but as far as I knew she was straight so we did not kiss. It was a little awkward after that but we made it through and remained friends until college. That is a whole different story.

College at 19 I finally accepted who I am now to come out. I struggled for a year alone with it going back in forth about if my family will accept me. Despite my parents having Lesbian friends and going to gay bars with them. Well during the year I was struggling my older sister and mom were talking about my sexuality. Finally mom told me my sister was worried I didn’t know who I was because I had never dated anyone. I was so mad that I said I know exactly who I am. I am a Lesbian mom. Her reaction was I know. I was waiting for you to tell me. That went not at all as I had planned! So now the next step my dad. Mom wants to wait so I do. My mom, dad and I go on vacation together when I am 21. While I am visiting friends my parents along with an ex minister and his wife go to gay pride where my proceeds to out me to everyone. Yeah I was livid. So I come back and my dad is acting awkward. He put his arm around me and said oh sorry you don’t like that. I am like dad just because I do not like that from other men does not mean I do not like it from you. You are my dad and that will never change. We were good from that time on and remained close to each other as we always had been. Then the Minister asks me what advice I had for people coming out after I tell them the whole story of my first girlfriend, which my mom knew nothing about. I said expect the worst and hope for the best. That is what I did, which floored everyone there. I said you can be open minded about other people being queer but it is different when it is your own child. Then it was time to come out to my siblings. I had asked my wife to marry me so I decided to come out and tell them I was engaged at the same time and they were like yeah we know and congratulations and moved on with the conversation.

I am extremely lucky in my journey to have had so much positivity and acceptance and because of that I try to pass it on as much as I can to others. I still give the advice I did then but I will add. If you are not lucky enough to have an accepting family then find one that will accept you. You are beautiful the way you are. You have the right to love whoever you want. You have the right to be whoever you are, because you are a beautiful human being just they way you are. Find a family who will celebrate and support you in being you. Own your individuality and pride. Own who you are.

Lesbian

i realized that i was gay when i first watched pitch perfect. brittany snow and anna kendrick just hit different. only when i found wayhaught though was i able to gain the courage to come out to my parents. i only came out to them this year, but i’ve known i was gay for about 6 years now; since i was 12. i’m forever grateful to dom and kat for portraying these roles and for coming out themselves. they have given me the greatest gift; they gave me courage and they gave me hope, and those two things inspire me to keep pushing forward and to keep fighting for what i love.

Dakota, cisgender, lesbian, she/her

I grew up in a small country town in South Carolina. I was always a tomboy, playing with the boys, playing sports and loved getting dirty. I always felt different from everyone, especially girls, and I never understood why. In high school, I had thoughts that maybe I was gay but never understood the term because I never had any representation. Dating guys never worked out so I just assumed I was a broken human. I ended up going to college at a small school in the Northeast and played college softball. One of my teammates was basically like you’re gay and that’s how I pretty much came out to myself. Then the process of coming out to all my friends (they were all great and knew before I did). My favorite thing about college was the ability to discover myself: how I dressed, acted, etc and how comfortable I was. I did discover the pain that comes with heartbreak during my 4 years of undergrad. The struggle of discovering your sexuality at a later age means facing the trial and errors of dating as an adult (confusion, awkwardness). I still don’t know what I’m doing half the time (lol). The hardest person I had to come out to was my dad (at 23) and I still feel like I have to pretend to be someone different around him. It’s a long and hard process. Everyday, I feel like I am discovering something new about myself. It’s definitely tough being a woman who likes the same gender but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Hopefully, one day I can find the love of my life and show her how amazing life can be. It hasn’t been the easiest for me in the 25 years I’ve been alive but if you believe, it can only go up from here.

I am bisexual

During high school. When I got my current girl friend, I came out to my best buddy and one of my close aunt. Only 2 of them that I told them personally. One day, 1 of my BFF noticed my interactions with my girl friend and confronted me. That’s where I’m forced to come out to another few of my BFF.

Just a random guy enjoying to give love to other people.

I was born in Russia, adopted and living in France. I never knew my biological parents and so never got answers to my many questions. And it caused a lot of problems in the future, as I’m going to explain you there :
As soon as I remember, I knew I was feeling different. First I thought I was just a lesbian, a woman attracted to other women. But with the years, I was feeling unconfortable with my name… People were all saying “Justine” “she” “cutie” and my mind was feeling in another way…
In France there are genders for EVERYTHING, and so I was feeling weird ALL THE TIME…
I felt bad, always feeling like something was missing in my life.
I suffered for years from mutilation impulses and now all the scars remind me what I went throught, at the begining I was ashamed, but now I’m proud of it, it shows that my life hadn’t always been easy, but I survived, I won against depression.
When I clearly got what was happening to me, I decided to don’t hide myself anymore, I had a name on what I felt. I wanted to continue being proud of me and who I was ( I was already an assumed lesbian ).
I told it to my parents and my siblings last summer, and my siblings don’t care at all about it, but my parents don’t accept it, at all…
I told my friends as soon as I came back to school in September, they call me Thomas as if I’ve always been this man, and it feels soooo good !
I feel like I have a new life, truly me, Thomas, a random guy, finally loving other people because he learnt to move himself
My last relationships were better than all the others because I was myself, and I could love someone without fighting inside for who I was.
I’m a man, in a women body ( for the moment ), but I really love my life now, I’m ready to confront life and all its problems because myself isn’t one anymore.
Be who you are, whatever people think, because you have to love yourself before wanting to love other people
And, be fucking proud.
You’re an human, special, incredible, unique, wonderful.
And I am this kind of human
I’m a transgender
And, finally
#I’m out !!

I am pansexual

I think I have always known, however, I have kept that part of me locked away and hidden for so long. I thought I had just ‘experimented’ in my youth, but there was no way I could actually be queer. My family was/is very sexually repressive, that made it difficult to be who I have always been. I have also grown up in a regional community, which has made it difficult not having much representation. My best friend in high school has two mums and I seen the toll it took on her navigating the negative discourse that was aimed at her from coming from a queer family. That experience just solidified that I couldn’t be out. So I suppressed that side of me, I did not allow it to show, and I was ashamed that there were girls that i just couldn’t get out of my head. So I went the opposite way, I entered relationships with bad men, the polar opposite of anything remotely queer, and I had a daughter. My daughter is the only thing I don’t regret from living my closeted life. Then as a mature aged student I entered university where I met my fiancé. He is transgender, FTM. He introduced me to a world that I thought was closed to me, we became friends, then lovers, and now family.
Our housemate, his best friend, is also pansexual, and with our little community I feel I finally belong.
I didn’t exactly come out to anyone except him. My family knew him, knew he was transgender, and when we started dating it was as simple as ‘him and I are together now, I will not discuss our sexuality, if you have any concerns about the way he treats me, by all means say something, however if it’s about sexuality, I will not hear it’. The sense of power I have felt from standing up to my family and just being me is something purely wonderful. I still struggle against pre-conceived notions of who I am “meant” to be, of how this world is structured to suppress women like me and my community.
We are getting married at the end of this year, and have only two celebrants to choose from that are allies and will marry us.
However, I refuse to let that get me down.
I am out, without coming out. I am in love with a beautiful, wonderful man. I stand up for what I believe in. I am queer. For once in my life I am simply ME!

A gay stubborn sweetheart

When I was younger I had no idea that the LGBTQ+ community was even a thing, my family never spoke about it and I had never ever witnessed anything of the sort so I didn’t have a knowledgeable background on any of it. I had my first girlfriend at the age of 9 and it was due to the fact she had “forced” it upon me, she kept asking me out and so on. I guess that is where it started and baring in mind I had no idea, I genuinely thought that was normal like any other relationship.

Moving on to first year in secondary school (I was around 12) that was when I realised after doing a lot of research I found out that I was bisexual, I was fascinated by girls as there was just something different about them compared to boys. I told my best friend that I was bisexual and she was very very supportive of me and helped me a lot along the way. A couple months pass and I was starting to get confused, I was thinking “do I just like girls so could I be lesbian?”, I told my best friend and she still stayed supportive, a couple weeks pass and I told her I was bisexual again and that I must like boys.

A year passes and I move away from my hometown to the beautiful highlands and I met these wonderful people who helped me to see myself in a new way. We were out one night and they walked me home (baring in mind it was a new place so I wasnt to sure where to go) and they came out to me, it was such an incredible moment and experience for me. I felt safe so I came out to them that night also. Another year or so passes and I came out to my mum during a lunch break in school, which was just so out of the blue but at that moment I knew it needed to be done. There was fear as I could tell by her tone that she was not a fan of me liking girls. I got home and we talked about it and she told me I was confused because I wasnt of legal age (I must have been 14/15) assuming that since I couldn’t legally be “sexually active” I couldnt know if I liked girls or not. I found it wrong myself because I knew I wasnt confused and we never talked about it after that until I brought home my girlfriend at the time and introduced her to my mum, she was still rather “upset” I guess, I’m not sure how to describe it but she kinda took on board that this was who I was becoming. I told my dad later on in life from my mum (they split up and it was confusing times) and he understood wholeheartedly and loved me for who I am and has always tried to keep me happy and I couldnt be any more thankful to have him by my side.

I’m almost 20 now and I couldn’t be happier with my sexuality and I’m hoping that since when I came out to my mum till now she has gotten a better understanding that this me, this is who I am, this is who I want to be.