Community Rainbow Waves

Bisexual

To be honest, I think that in my entire life I’ve been attracted to boys and girls but I didn’t knew that was a thing, I even thought that was normal. While growing up I was forcing myself to only like boys because “that’s what normal girls do” but for me it didn’t feel right. In 2018 I started to like a girl in my class, I didn’t want to but I couldn’t help it, then I confessed myself to her and she didn’t feel the same but she was supporting me. Then I came out in social media and that’s how my mom found out that I was bisexual. She was mad at me, she thought that I was confused but in reality I’m not because I really like girls and boys and that’s who I am. Now in 2020 my mom still thinks I’m confused but my friends accept me as a bisexual girl. And that’s my story. I am OUT.

Book_Music

I knew I was a part of the LGBTQ+ community roughly at the age of 7 it was definitely hard for me to come out since both of my parents are religious, (babtist & Apostolic) I had came out to my mom at the age of 10 and never came out to my dad cause I would get thrown out of my home. Luckily both of my siblings and mom accepted me and I felt really validated but sadly I am never able to tell my father which gives me horrible anxiety and other thoughts (as well as other stuff). I am now 13 and I have helped many of my friends through coming out as well as figuring out who they are.

Different, special, not the norm…………..

There are so many words like that that have accompanied me all my life. If you are young, inexperienced, hormone-controlled, such words can turn your life upside down completely and this mostly not in a positive sense. No matter how hard I tried to find out what is so different about me and tried to behave like the others, it didn’t change the fact that I was different. In puberty the finding of oneself is a central thing, one tries out, sometimes crosses borders, lets go of control, tries to integrate into society or to question it by rebellious behaviour. Puberty is a difficult patch and is unfortunately underestimated far too much on the way to an adult life.

My name is Daniele or just Dani and i am a Transgender.
I was born as a girl named Daniela Antonietta. My mother is a South Italian and my father is Swiss with Hungarian roots and Jewish confession. Temperament and passion are in my cradle. I could now tell you about so many wonderful memories that I had as the middle of 3 daughters. My childhood was very beautiful, we experienced so much love and were allowed to be who we were. I never wanted to wear little dresses, never play with dolls, never be a princess or do other quiet things like my sisters, I wanted to be a ninja, climb trees in the forest, build something, do nonsense, play soccer. I had the great luck to grow up in a very social and open minded home where I was not denied this, I was allowed to be as I was. There were very difficult and sad fates and experiences in our family, which I don’t want to go into in detail now, but I can say that we were able to deal with some of them through our solidarity and the love we have for each other, or at least found ways to live with them. I am definitely not one of those people who can say that my childhood was bad, or that I had bad parents who didn’t accept me, or that I grew up in a country where strict guidelines apply, no, it was the other way and I will always be grateful for that. but unfortunately this is not always enough to avoid falling into very big problems. I won’t tell you my whole journey when my Pupertys startet now, because then I would have to write a book 🙂

no matter how my journey was and still will be. i have been living happily as a man now and full of love , just as i have always felt.

You ask on the Start the wave page what we do good for the world and that is not so easy to answer. I can only describe what I do good in my environment. With my open nature that is full of love and my motivating, energetic, empathic and very humorous way I try to support people in their lives. I always try to be free of values and try not to change anybody if they don’t want to change themselves. I appreciate life very much and try to give the world something good with my profession as a nurse, namely hope, relief and a beautiful smile on their faces.

All the best for everyone and Love will always win 🙂

Cat

I can’t wait until we’re living in a world where it is safe for everyone to be who they truly are without fear of judgment or persecution. I was raised by two loving but homophobic parents; so while they’ve made me feel like I could be myself in most regards, there’s one place they’ve made me feel like I have to continue living a lie. But even if I have to stay closeted in my everyday life for the time being, I don’t wish to stay fully closeted anymore.

I am a bisexual woman; and honestly, I’m proud of that.

When I was in high school, I started questioning my sexuality. I found myself starting to feel attracted to girls at my school and not just guys. But because of the home I was raised in, I did everything in my power to push such feelings aside, telling myself they didn’t mean anything. I refused to acknowledge them. And eventually, I was able to convince myself they never existed in the first place… Fastforward to college; and the feelings came back again, this time stronger. I found myself attracted to other women; and I knew it was something I couldn’t fully deny. I think deep down I admitted to myself that I wasn’t entirely straight; but I wasn’t ready to admit what that meant.

Over the past year or so, I started discovering myself more and more. It actually started when a friend suggested I check out this show called Wynonna Earp. This friend knew I preferred supernatural sorts of shows with powerful female leads (like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lost Girl, etc.); so of course I was fully on board with checking out this show. Little did I know, it would change my life for the better. Becoming an Earper, I now found myself part of one of the most accepting and supportive fandoms I’ve ever been a part of. Between that and being introduced to one of the most kickass casts ever, I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin with everything from my anxiety to my sexuality. Even though I still never admitted anything aloud, I started to feel more and more comfortable admitting to myself that I was, in fact, bisexual.

I hope to one day be able to share this fact with those closest to me, to one day feel as if I am safe enough and truly ready to do so. But for now, having a platform like this to announce who I truly am, it’s a blessing. Thank you to Dominique and everyone at Start the Wave for all the constant love and positivity. It means so much; and I am proud to be part of this community.

And one day, I will be proud to come back on here to say I am 100% out…

I am Queer AF!

I honestly don’t remember when I knew I was queer. I struggled a lot to suppress my “queer thoughts” because I grew up with a very religious mother. I was always told “gays go to hell,” “being gay is a sin.” My mother always put that mentality in my head and I started to believe that for a while.

I guess it was the end of middle school or the start of high school when I started to develop feeling for girls. I was so confused. I was like “what is wrong with me?” “I shouldn’t have these feelings, God make them stop.” I remember watching Pretty Little Liars and watching how open Emily was about her sexuality and it was awesome to see a female character to open and proud. I used to go to my room and talk to myself and saw “God please get these thoughts out of my head, I can’t be gay.” I had that mentality of thinking being gay is wrong, so I tried my hardest to suppress those thoughts.

Then in junior year of high school, I cut my hair and had an undercut and rocked that hairstyle lol. I honestly didn’t give a fuck about what other people thought, I had my haircut and was really confident. I later started to understand that being gay was okay. I didn’t have to hide my feelings. I came out to my sisters friend for by writing her a message and having her read because I couldn’t say that words out loud. I started crying when she was reading it, and she told me it was okay and she didn’t think differently of me. I wave of relief washed over me. Then a few days later I came out to my two sisters the same way, I wrote them a ”letter” in notes, and had them read it in front of me. They told me that they already had a feeling I was gay. But still love me the same way. Then a week or two later, I told my brother, again the same way lol. He as well told me he loves me not matter what.

The only person I haven’t told is my mother. Oh boy, I have no idea how to approach the situation. She’s still very religious and I have no idea how she will react.

As of now, I realized that I am Queer. I’m not just gay anymore. I like all human beings. I used to think that I only liked girls but I kinda also like some guys, not all, just some lol.

I am not afraid to be my true authentic self. One day I will come out to my mom and when that day comes I will be prepared and willing to tell her the truth about myself.

Lesbian

I’ve always known I liked girls but I never knew it was a “thing”! Growing up I never had contact to anyone gay until one day in middle school and upper classmen came out. She didn’t care and she told everyone!

She was someone I looked up to in sports and when she came out I thought it was cool! At this point I’ve never put any though into my own feelings! Honestly boys annoyed me I think since I was born haha but I never thought anything of it! I questioned myself and until I was a senior in high school I finally started trying to put things together. when one of my good friends came out to me and I to her! It felt amazing to say I felt something for girls! But little did I know that was the beginning of all the struggles of trying to find and ACCEPT MYSELF!
I went off to college lost not knowing who I was or who I should be! I struggle with the thought of what would my mom say! I struggled so much a becalmed depressed for a couple of years! Those years were awful but those years have got me to where I am now!
I had met someone (a beautiful girl) who made me so happy I didn’t care what anyone thought! I came out to my mom and she didn’t take it to well. Good thing I was on my own in college so the long months of my mom calling me crying or not even talking to me because she thought she had failed as a mother. It was hard because my mom is my world but if she couldn’t accept me then I would live on happy living my truth with my girlfriend.
My mom came around thanks to my awesome stepdad and she loved my girlfriend just as much as I did.

Though that relations didn’t last for long but I was out and I’m proud of who I am.
I still struggle with political officials saying that how I feel is wrong! being that my state doesn’t really like people like me and has made it where they can discriminate against me at work if they choose to. It’s hard but what keeps me going is that I know who I am and I live my truth the best I can!
Peace, love, and happiness

On my way, hoping to get there soon…

I guess I always knew way back when I was a kid, but I had no idea what it was and why I felt that way. I just wasn’t what was deemed “normal”. I started acknowledging it for myself as I was going through adolescence and all throughout college and then sort of embraced it after graduation. But to be honest, I still don’t feel safe or free – as I wish I could be – to declare my truth. To some I am able to tell them, while to most I keep quiet… either way, I am never without fear of being rejected or seen differently, like I become a different person from the one they’ve come to know as soon as I confirm what they probably already thought. I still fear that I will never be taken seriously professionally or deserving of the same respect as a person just because of who I am. I am still afraid but I am also hopeful that one day, I’d get there – where I am free to just be me and no longer afraid.

Be Brave

Growing up in an academic focused, traditional Asian family, my ‘path’ had always felt like it was mapped out for me. I knew who I was suppose to be the minute I knew how to walk. I was a pretty sheltered child and didn’t even know what the term “gay” meant, let alone understanding it. Moving to San Francisco for college was the first real introduction I had to the LGBTQ+ community. Once learning more about the community and understanding my thoughts and feelings, my whole life made so much more sense. I understood why I was so angry at my best friend in high school for hanging out with her boyfriend instead of me. I understood why I go out my way to make certain girls happy. I finally understood why and that scared me. I was different.

I first came out to my college friends as bisexual because I felt like it was easier for them to understand and accept. I wasn’t honest with myself even then. I’m very thankful that I had a group of friends that were very open minded and supportive. Living in SF at the time didn’t hurt either. I eventually came out as a lesbian to my best friend, crying my eyes out because I was finally allowing myself to admit it. Life at that point was good and I was embracing myself and experiencing this new me. But I soon realize I was living a double life. When I’m home I become someone else. I was out to everyone but my immediate family. I stumbled out of the closet to my mom when I was 21 and she kicked me out of the house, claiming that I was disgusting. She was my hero. I thought she going to understand. She didn’t and it broke my heart. I lived most of my life trying to make her proud and I failed her because I was being me.

I went through some of the darkest times of my life then as I was done with this life and it’s disappointments. I wanted a different kind of out. I try to end it all but I survived and that was my true awakening. I started on a whole new journey in finding myself and to be my most authentic self. During this journey I found the love of my life, a smart and beautiful woman who I asked to marry me. Now that I’m older, I decided to give the conversation with my mother another chance. So last Christmas, I came out again to my mom and asked if she would be at my wedding. Her answer was no. It hurts. It’ll always hurt but I came to the realization that I’m not going to sacrifice my happiness for anyone anymore. At the end of the day, I have to be able to live with myself and the person I’m becoming. I’ve learned to be brave and face what’s coming my way with kindness and compassion. Not everyone will understand my truth just like I might not understand theirs. We as human just need to help each other learn the different truths. Hopefully one day, my mom will understand mine.

But I’m now 31 and I’m the happiest and most free I’ve ever been.
Took 10 years but I’m queer, I’m here and that’s MY truth.

Much love, always.
Sandy

A very gay introvert!

I was like 10 or 11 years old when I realized I really like girls, from movies, to tv show even in real life. It was though at first, because I kept denying it that I am not Bisexual, that I am straight. But as time pass by, I accepted myself for who I am. I came out to my friends first, they absolutely knew I was Bi. I then came out to my classmates and the whole school knew it. Some think it was so cool, some didn’t quite like it. When I met my girlfriend (we meet on a dating app ^_^ , I knew it in myself that I really really like her. Like she’s the one for me. I came out to my mom, It wasn’t easy tho. But she did accept me. And my brother is cool with it he doesn’t have any problem me being Bi at all. I am still try my best to come out to the rest of the family. Wish me luck!

Gayer than a fruit loop, but too young to love.

I first started questioning my sexuality when I was 11. My grandma had just passed and I was severely depressed. I realised that I liked dressing more masculine, and in what I know see was a way too hide that I was gay, I decided that I was probably trans. I started going by the name Sam and started wanting to cut my hair. I even tried to bind my chest (in very unsafe ways) and I thought that I was depressed because I had gender dysphoria. After about a year I realised that I was just really fucking gay. So, I decided to lived my truth in a very homophobic school and it was the best choice I ever made.

I started coming out at twelve by mentioning it slightly in conversations, mostly by denying attraction to boys rather than admitting my love for women.

This year i turned 15 and after two gay relationships and after being out for three years Im still uncomfortable with my sexuality. I hate to say it and I wish it wasn’t like that, but my class mates and and the society we live in has pushed the ‘predatory lesbian’ stereotype on me for so long that it’s hard to forget.

I’ve recently decided that I will try to wear my pride bracelet in a way of showing who I am with out having to say something. And most importantly it serves as a small reminder for me that, no matter what my classmates say, being gay is 100% okay and that I’m so fucking proud of being a part of this community.